The Crowley Frozen Dessert Haiku

by entropie and jenniforensic

Lost in the desert,
thirsty and alone; oh dear.
The frogurt is cursed.
Lesser banishing
rituals in the hot sun
Need some ice cream now.
Uncle Al's Ice Cream!
Serving evil on a stick:
Ice cream without tears.
Selling evil cold
with rainbow sprinkles on top
and a funny hat.
Ye Master Crowley!
Olde Ass-end-ed demon king,
Give us our sprinkles.
Incantative cones
Bringing back the Masters Old
Offer them a smoke.
Chocolate chip mint --
Abremelin's favorite!
Mages hate soft-serve.
Hazelnut, mmm yeah,
The Left-Hand Path to ice cream.
God, I need a smoke!
Cthulhu rises;
He says, "Why have you called me?
It is too damn hot." 
The Old One wakes now
Seeking fun, sun and surfing.
Hawaiian shirts rock!
"Yog soggoth, humans!
Read the Necronomicon --
There is no ice cream!"
Working gone awry;
The Watchtowers have melted!
Call the cavalry!
Airborne leads the way --
Don't wear those shoes with that hat!
It's past Labor Day!
Ruby red slippers
Don't go with All-Seeing Eyes ...
Bugger someone else!
Wanted: New wizard.
Will provide: Cold beverages.
Stick it in the fridge.