Gnawed fingernails
Battered suitcase
Juicy Couture makeup bag
(not that I would need it)

Would you remember?
How we always leave
each other?
We always fight.
I always cry.

It's the only way to
make it bearable.

When I am crying
You are always sorry
You always tell me
you love me more than the river
More than the fields

You always drag me close
when I am struggling
force me to you
Stroke my back
Let me hear the absence
of your heartbeat
until I can breathe

You always slip a small
blue velvet pouch into my bag
You never look at me when I leave

These long hot months
Vodka, X, Manolo Blahnik
It doesn't matter
Nothing makes it faster

I smoke clove cigarettes
my mother hates
and think of you

And when I hear the purr
of your bike
and see the tangle of your
Urban Decay Perversion hair

You give me that easy grin
no one else ever sees
and my heart stops like yours

Just tell me you miss me.
Just tell me you need me.

--Lilith Maeve Crow